Abigale Garpestad

Professor Nicholas

Writing for Social Sciences

14 Febuary 2019

    The Real Sex Talk

On Wednesday, February 13th I attended The Real Sex Talk event held at the CCNY City Towers from 7-9pm. The event included free pizza and snacks for attendees and a complimentary “swag bag,” filled with popsockets and information regarding Planned Parenthood for event members who stayed until the end. Planned Parenthood representatives spoke freely about the dos and don’ts of safe sex, accompanied by an interactive slide show.

Upon entering the highly secured entryway, students were asked almost immediately for a state form of identification, such as a drivers license for the security guard at the front desk to hold on to until you wish to leave. I gave the room a swift glance and quickly noticed the decorated whiteboard sign advertising the event while pointing me in the direction of its location, the student lounge. The student lounge is equipped with pool tables, several comfortable seating arrangements, and a television in the center of it all. I had arrived fifteen minutes before the starting time of 7 pm. Event planners and representatives from Planned Parenthood were setting up any last minute touches to the already lightly decorated lounge. They advised any early comers to wait patiently on the couches closest to the television. Behind the designated seating area were tables topped with pizza pies, soda, and bags of chips. A sign-in sheet began going around for students to sign confirming they attended the event. I assume the sheet was to obtain contact information for students who have shown interest in this topic.

The event started with everyone piling on the free pizza and chips. After everyone was satisfied with their plates, we took seats in the circle oriented lounge couches, facing the direction of the TV which presented the slide show. The relaxed setting definitely made for a more intimate discussion. The speaker encouraged us to be interactive with the slides via texting. There were three poll questions projected onto the screen and we responded by texting a PPNYC number; the results were then shown on the screen. The first question projected was “How comfortable are you telling your partner your turn-ons?” The response options were of the following, comfortable, very comfortable, uncomfortable, very uncomfortable.

Sexual pleasure seems to be a very taboo topic. I can confirm this belief, as I felt uneasy typing those words; “sexual pleasure.” The questions gauged our comfortability with the topic. The results were astonishingly a majority felt “comfortable telling their partner their turn-ons.” This led us to discuss why we feel that way. Growing up in a religious setting or not, children are often scolded for having any desire to learn or experiment with their bodies. As much as we would like to believe we’ve been tainted by the sexual confidence in the media, it is difficult to feel completely confident and secure discussing such “sinful” behavior. Whether the results were truthful or not, the speaker was surprised the majority answered the way they did. She was expecting the polar opposite response. I felt some students might have been overestimating their comfortability with the topic. They might have known the lecture awaiting us about feeling confident in your sexual desires and tried to avoid it or felt ashamed they are not as comfortable as they know they should be.

Students and leaders did not hold back when asking questions, resulting in a very informal discussion for everyone. New questions arose forcing us to think from an alternative perspective. The slides included several comical visuals/gifs. Most of the students who attended the event were very open and secure in their opinions, while others were visually embarrassed by the questions asked. It was a perfect example of a judgment-free zone, as no one was attacked or felt they had to defend their opinions. Everyone who participated was heard and respected. It felt as if we were returning to a reoccurring club meeting. I noticed a majority of the students involved were residents at the towers. They were dressed in nonformal clothing (sweats and pajamas.) Hosting events in the towers is a good way to accommodate to residents. The factor of “no commute necessary” is very appealing to tired, rather lazy college students. The free pizza and snacks served as an incentive for students to participate. College students may see this as an opportunity, but not in the same way event planners may, “free dinner and a show.” At the end of the event, I scanned the room once more before leaving, I noticed more than half of the attendees had left. I began to wonder if the free pizza was the draw, rather than the educational sex discussion. It seems to be a common theme at most CCNY events. Written in bold font, “free food!”