Abigale Garpestad
Alice Nicholas
Writing for Social Sciences
11 March 2019
Dating a US Marine
We’re all sympathetic for couples surviving a long distance relationship. Loving someone hours away seems to be life’s greatest trick and has a reputation of ending in shattered hopes for a future together. Imagine your partner is fighting for yours and your country’s freedom; Your partner is a US Marine. Running into the line of fire is in their job description. Jennifer Salvaggio happens to be one of the millions in a relationship with a US Marine, Jonathan Eldredge. Here is her take on life away from her boyfriend of two years.
- Tell me about yourself.
My name is Jennifer. I’m 19 years old and currently work full time at a salon in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn as an assistant. I graduated high school two years ago and went straight to beauty school, graduated, an obtained my cosmetology license. I’ve been working at the salon in Brooklyn for almost a year now.
- How did you and Jon meet?
Jon and I met through a camp in New Jersey affiliated with our churches and other church in the tri-state area. We’ve been going to the same camp ever since we were twelve. We became best friends.
- How was your relationship with Jon before he joined the military? Has it changed?
My relationship with Jon before he joined the military was very strong and grounded. Ever since he has left, it’s only gotten stronger.
- What were your feelings when you found out Jon was interested in joining the military? (Were you worried for his safety? Worried for your relationship?)
My feelings when he left were nothing but supportive. Of course, the thought of being in a long distance relationship was scary and a big commitment, but I wouldn’t trade what we have for the world. Relationships are all about sacrifice and trust and we have all of the above to be able to go through what we’ve gone through for the past year and a half he has been in.
- What was the reaction you received from your family and friends? (Were they supportive?)
My family was very proud of Jon for joining but were also hesitant for what I was going to feel transitioning from being together every day to going months apart without seeing one another.
- Were you ever hesitant to continue the relationship knowing distance was a factor? (If so, was there a defying moment you knew you were going to do what is necessary to stay together?)
It was definitely rough in the beginning but over time I started to get used to the distance. I have never hesitated on continuing the relationship, of course, I’ve had my weak points, spending nights crying myself to sleep, but constantly reminding myself of how proud I am of him and how proud he is of me for following my dream back home holds each other up.
- How do you maintain a strong and healthy relationship when you are apart a majority of the year?
Maintaining the strong relationship we have is all about communication. We don’t always talk every second of the day because we’re both working but we will always make an effort to FaceTime or call each other on the phone every night before bed. Planning trips for me to visit or when he finds out he’s able to come home also makes the distance a whole lot better because I know the next time we’ll see each other. Sometimes he’ll send me little gifts in the mail and I’ll do the same, just as a reminder we’re always thinking of each other and loving each other every day.
- Do you feel the distance/separation has strengthened your relationship? (Honeymoon phase lasts longer? Less room for arguments/bickering?)
Distance and separation have definitely strengthened our relationship. There is no better feeling in the world than seeing your loved one after months apart. It’s exciting to plan a trip to take advantage of your time together.
- What keeps you going when you miss him?
What keeps me going when I miss him is working. It keeps my mind off of things and I’m not constantly in a slump because I miss him. I always work out and that definitely relieves a lot of stress for me. Having my family, mine and his friends to help me through it is a big plus.
- What was the lowest point for you?
The lowest point for me was when he left for boot camp. Going three months without his phone, not hearing his voice and only sending letters was a big change for me. He left during the holidays which meant the mailing system was a little whacky and letters were not coming through consistently.
- Do/have you seek(ed) any guidance/a mentor to help you when you are feeling down?
I have not sought therapy, but I do lean on family and friends to vent when I’m having a bad day.
- What is it like when you are reunited? How is your dynamic?
When we’re reunited it feels like nothing has changed since we saw each other last. We are both full of happiness when we see each other, there is no better feeling.
- How has this experience challenged your perspective? (On dating, love, relationships)
This challenge has taught me to never take anything for granted and enjoy the little things in life.
- What would you want to say to others in this situation?
What I’d like to say to others going through this situation is to never lose faith in your relationship and your significant other. You’re going to have your bad days and your good days, but you are strong and if you can get through distance, you can get through anything.
